One drink is just right; two is too many; three are too few.

Spanish maxim

Lawrence Durrell, “Something à la Carte?”

W. Pett Ridge, A Story Teller

The innkeeper loves the drunkard, but not for a son-in-law.

One Tequila,
Two Tequila,
Three Tequila floor.

Lennox Robinson was a(n Irish) playwright and became manager of the Abbey Theatre in 1919. He was a tall, wan and willowy man with a chronic drink problem. Oliver St. John Gogarty once remarked, on seeing him the worse for wear: “Poached eyes on ghost.” -- as reported by Veronica Jane O'Mara & Fionnuala O'Reilly, "A Trifle, A Coddle, A Fry: An Irish Literary Cookbook" (Dublin: Town House & Country House, 1991)

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.
W. C. Fields

Lord Lonsdale’s breakfast was rather different to the rest of us. He would heap his plate, seat himself at the head of the table, and feed each of his dogs in turn from his plate. He himself ate practically nothing. When this performance was over, he would light a cigar and drink, at one gulp, a claret glass of brandy. He would follow this immediately with half a bottle of white wine, and then bid everyone a bright good morning, explaining that he must deal with his correspondence.

Douglas Sutherland, The Yellow Earl

People who have something they want to forget usually order a martini -- maybe because it is strong and dry. I have never seen anyone drown his sorrows in champagne. -- Guiseppe Cipriani, founder of Harry's Bar in Venice

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. -- W.C. Fields