|By George (George) on Wednesday, February 27, 2002 - 01:39 pm: Edit|
I got this in an E-Mail-
If you're into restaurants, you probably know the Zagat guides. In addition to their own food critics, they welcome reader comments on restaurants you've visited recently. BUT, some of the comments they get can't be used. Here are some samples that had me ROFL. (Long, but funny)
Don't Eat Here…
Real comments from ZagatSurvey diners.
Duck must have had a long flight -- tired, tough and took 90 minutes
Portions so small I started laughing -- prices so high I started
Too snooty, but so am I.
Eat the crayons. They taste like the calamari.
Have yet to learn that heat is an integral part of the cooking
Abandon tastebuds all ye who enter here.
Someone please close this restaurant. The food is as old as the
I've had much better Cajun, but I'm not going to tell you where.
Should shut down the restaurant and just serve the view.
Food [is] is served as cold as the faux-stone pillars, and as slowly
as the Romans advancing over the Dolomites in a particularly harsh
I think one of the ceramic pigs that adorn the walls could have given
The waiter flipped our pizza onto the floor, face down. He scooped it
back up and told us it was okay.
Why does it always smell like mildew?
Suffers from delusions of adequacy
Took a doggie bag home; the dog refused it
Filled with flowers and all the things that make flowers grow
Waiters just back from the Jihad
Mashed potatoes and attitudes don't mix
Be sure to sit in the no-shooting section
Saves fuel bills the heartburn will keep you warm all winter
If I say anything bad about the place, I might get whacked
Dishes look like road kill
"Hi, I'm obviously underage. Margarita please"
Like a skunk, it's small, it's cute and it stinks
The look might be French but the staff is Martian
Makes prunes desirable
I can defrost better
The last stop before food stamps
A petri dish gone horribly, horribly wrong
Where's the health department?
Better service in a self-help gas station
Wins for most roach sightings
Totally vegged out
Should be renamed Barfing Dog
At 26, you're a senior citizen
Where the boys can be girls and no one will notice
Could have changed my oil two times from the bottom of the pasta dish
The only good thing about this restaurant is leaving it
Take your time, the staff sure does
I cannot give credit to [this place] other than to praise them for
hiring the mentally handicapped
Will make you long for McDonalds
The roaches always get the best seats
Chef's responsibility is to turn on the microwave
Great portions. Car was stolen from lot.
Getting mugged at gunpoint in their parking lot left a bad taste in my
Confuses grease with Greece
They put the salmon in salmonella
The only thing authentic about this joint is the heartburn and the
I get sick from the food every time. At least it has consistency
If I want a fatty sandwich served by a walking attitude, I'll go to
Food tastes like socks
To call it a dump would be flattering
Like oh my Gawd, like can you believe how cool I am?
Waitresses trained by Joseph Stalin
The cockroaches are more energetic than the management
The Bronx Zoo with Food
Perfect for your fasting day
Where you can eat the cast of "Bambi"
So noisy you can't hear yourself taste
Even the water gives you heartburn
The proportions are the size of Jesse Helm's grants to the arts
Grandma cooked like this, Grandpa died young
Wonder why there aren't any cats in Chinatown? Eat here
Gay Chuck E. Cheese
Good seafood, but waiter should be used as fish bait
Gets an "A" for attitude
The old waiters are fresher than the fish
Beats Prozac as a mood lifter
Meatloaf tastes like it's made from Alpo
Bette Davis would agree: What a dump!
Must be laundering money
Requested no-sugar food. Blood tests later proved they broke their
Not what it used to be and it did not used to be much
The average age here is deceased
Better to skip a meal than eat here
Caught recycling wine not finished by diners
Food is icky, tables are sticky, waitress has a hickey, stay home if