funny email I received...

Dear Consumers:
>
> It has come to our attention that a few copies of the WINDOWS
> 2000 TEXAS EDITION may have accidentally been shipped outside of the
> state
> of Texas. If you have one of these, you may need some help
understanding
> the commands. The TEXAS EDITION may be recognized by the unique
opening
> screen.
> It reads: WINDERS 2000, with a background picture of Willie Nelson
> superimposed on the Alamo.
>
> Please also note:
>
> The Recycle Bin is labeled "Outhouse"
>
> My Computer is called "This Dern Contraption"
>
> Dial Up Networking is called "Good Ol' Boys"
>
> Control Panel is known as "The Dashboard"
>
> Hard Drive is referred to as "4-Wheel Drive"
>
> Floppies are "Them little ol' plastic thangs"
>
> Instead of an error message,"Duct tape" pops up
>
> CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN TEXAS EDITION:
> Cancel.............stopdat
> Reset...............try'er agin
> Yes..................yep
> No....................nope
> Find..................fixin' ta hunt fer it
> Go to................over yonder
> Back.................back yonder
> Help..................hep me out here
> Stop..................kwitit
> Start..................crank'er up
> Settings.............settins
> Programs...........stuff at duz stuff
> Documents.........stuff ah done did
> Also note that the TEXAS EDITION does not recognize capital
> letters or punctuation marks.
>
> Some programs that are exclusive to WINDERS 2000:
> Tiperiter.....................a word processing program
> Colerin' Book..............a graphics program
> Cyferin' mersheen.......calculator
> Outhouse paper..........notepad
> Inner-net.....................Microsoft Explorer 5.0
> Pitchers......................a graphics viewer
> We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a
> copy of the TEXAS EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a
> replacement
> version. I hope this helps all ya'll!
>
> Billy Bob Gates