Well, last night, another one of my clients thrilled me with their question. "How do you prepare your chickens?"

and as usual, I couldn''t resist. I said, "Well, that is a tough one, but I find it is best to be honest with my chickens and tell them outright they are going to die."

This guy, actually passed his drink through his nose, choked, then regained himself and doubled over with laughter.

Rim Shot!

Carl

By Panini (Panini) on Sunday, August 12, 2001 - 12:24 pm: Edit

My wife is standing over my shoulder now laughing out loud, thanks for the laughs
Jeff

By Chefmanny (Chefmanny) on Monday, August 13, 2001 - 01:38 pm: Edit

The hardest part of preparing chickens (or having sex with) is catching them!!!

By Martin on Wednesday, August 15, 2001 - 12:27 pm: Edit

That is SICK and PERVERTED. I hope you washed your hands afterwards and used some form of protection.

By Chefmanny (Chefmanny) on Wednesday, August 15, 2001 - 12:38 pm: Edit

Well Thank You! it took many years of deprivation and self denial! Of course, I used gloves silly!

By Panini (Panini) on Wednesday, August 15, 2001 - 02:39 pm: Edit

Ya know this is a food forum, but it is quite the comedy forum. I'm not sure if George approves but it is relaxing. Maybe there should be a comedy thread that is just food activated.

By Chefmanny (Chefmanny) on Wednesday, August 15, 2001 - 03:30 pm: Edit

I'm sure we could all write books w/ the experiences we've lived through in kitchens.

By chefFab on Wednesday, August 15, 2001 - 06:14 pm: Edit

Book?, did someone say book?
I have the best stories, hands down.
I'll betcha.

By houston on Wednesday, August 15, 2001 - 07:33 pm: Edit

has anybody read that kitchen confidential? i was thinking of looking at fast food nation,is that the right title? food nation?

By Peachcreek (Peachcreek) on Wednesday, August 15, 2001 - 07:50 pm: Edit

We used to call our chicken omelet "The mother and child reunion"....

By Chefmanny (Chefmanny) on Wednesday, August 15, 2001 - 09:22 pm: Edit

Let's start a new thread telling our great kitchen stories then, George can put them all together in the "WFP Kitchen Story Book"
Bring them on ChefFab............
One night we did a party (in the 80's, Miami), yes the Coke era, for Colombians at a hotel near the airport (coincidence or diversion), the entree was chicken, these guys were doing blow like there was no tomorrow, the dishwashers were going to the bathroom to do lines from what they dropped. It was that much.
Anyway, I was the Sous in charge that night, we plated the party, after a few cocktails and party favors from the host. The chicken as it turns out was raw at the joint, about 10 mins. into the serving I see the host coming to me and saying; "How did you know?" I said, how did I know what? I thought I was history!, That we eat our chickens rare in our little town in Columbia, I said, one of the guests told me. Needless to say he was very impressed to the tune of about a half an oz.
The next day when they checked out of the hotel the maids found a kilo under a bed, they forgot about it or left it, who knows but...oh the good old days in Coconut Grove!!!

By ChefFab-u-las on Wednesday, August 15, 2001 - 09:27 pm: Edit

ok, about this book.
can it have food and sex in it?, or do they need to be separate. You know...what I mean,...like sex with, eh...ah...pastry stuff. Ya know?
Do we all get a chapter? I think this is a great idea. My chapter is done. I'm calling it, " The New York Years ", who's next?

By Chefmanny (Chefmanny) on Wednesday, August 15, 2001 - 09:40 pm: Edit

There is no sex w/out food! Where is your head at?

By ChefFabulous on Wednesday, August 15, 2001 - 09:45 pm: Edit

Chef Manny...Thats it!? That was your best?!
Sit down son.
NY.1981,The party was for an ex-pres. I was dating a couple waitress's. My stuff was done and I decided to have a smoke, so I told the one and phoned the other( she was acting as a hostess ).
We met at the top of a stairwell, our normal smoking place, one thing led to another and we became half undressed, then the white stuff came out and we were doing it off each other. The party had started and the chef came looking for me. Me and the waitress had the hostess tied up to one of those steel ladders that access the roof
The chef found me, and screemed, which brought the security to the stairwell, all in about 10 sec's. Then they all started to laugh so hard that they were crying. Needless to say I got yelled at for about a month, and lost my stairwell smoking privileges. I won't even mention the mocca mousse'.
Fabulous...

By Chefmanny (Chefmanny) on Wednesday, August 15, 2001 - 09:47 pm: Edit

Chef Fab-u-las, any relation to Chef Ghettofabulous?
One night this waiter at a CC was busy as could be, carrying a tray w/ 16 dinners w/ the SS covers, very heavy. I was a busboy at the time, this lady gets up from her table and tells the waiter who is going across the dance floor: Young man there is something wrong w/ my chicken and without missing a beat the waiter says, Madam, I am a waiter not a veterinarian!
The lady looked like she was in shock, it was funny as s---.

By Chefmanny (Chefmanny) on Wednesday, August 15, 2001 - 09:52 pm: Edit

I never had that problem Fab I usually had an office w/ a cott, wine fridge, curtains and, bar mops. I did have a screamer one night though and when I opened the door there was an audience clapping.

By ChefFab on Wednesday, August 15, 2001 - 09:58 pm: Edit

ok... your not gonna win anything with lame stories like that! Warm your milk kid, here comes another bed time story. NY, 1981. Party for the Mayor. Me and the banquet chef are in the banquet walk-in. He's drinking and I'm doing lines. We start getting stupid and start telling jokes. We bust out of the walk-in right in to the reception line that the chef had set up so the Mayor could thank the kitchen crew. He's got a beer in his hands and I've got rings on my nose. The Mayors people were so surprized that one covered the Mayor and guards were pulling guns. Another month of yelling and not allowed in the banquet kitchen for a month.
Fabulous.....................

By Peachcreek (Peachcreek) on Thursday, August 16, 2001 - 04:58 pm: Edit

The Bartender, who I guess was supposed to be the arbiter of conduct in the place, had just grabbed two bottles off the counter and smashed them behind the bar as he roared "Hey Mikey! How the •••• are ya!". No one had even barely noticed that move, they'ed been pretty wasted by then. It was a bunch of locals,and us. And we were only one beer into the night. And so our night began.
We were on vacation a couple of years ago and stopped that night in a small mountain town high in the Rockies. Talk about small. Maybe 50 people on the best of days. It was mid Spring, or "Mud Season" as the locals call it, and the town was deserted of tourists. Most of the stores were still closed for the Winter, which usually extends at least to Memorial Day. We found the only place open after 9pm was the restaurant/bar across the street. The desk clerk told us they had opened earlier that week.
To be continued.

By ChefFab on Thursday, August 16, 2001 - 05:39 pm: Edit

peachcreek,

YES,YES, GO ON...............

By chady2k on Thursday, August 16, 2001 - 06:02 pm: Edit

Peachcreek, This sounds like the town I live in! Where were you at?

By Chefmanny (Chefmanny) on Thursday, August 16, 2001 - 06:51 pm: Edit

Don't tease like that, let the cookies burn!