Posted by jaye on January 09, 1998 at 13:56:38:
In Reply to: get over it. posted by Gerard on January 04, 1998 at 09:14:55:
: : No relationship between a student and a teacher, regardless of the ages involved, consitutes an "equal" distribution of power--a necessity for a romantic relationship. Too many students fall prey to sexual harassment to permit such nonsense. The relationship could yield decades of love and affection, but so could a relationship between a third grader and a teacher. The school is exercising poor judgment by apparently condoning such behavior.
: "equal distribution of power"
: "sexual harassment", ?
: are you intent on getting somewhere in the food biz?
: or joining NOW, it sounds like a feminists agenda,
: complete with the paranoid fear of men.
: He married her, he formed a very legally, ethical and
: moral covenant with her in the eyes of society.
: I married my apprentice, she was my student.
: You need to sort your head out, this has nothing to do with the
: school or relationships, its to do with you.
: Having a snit about things you can do absolutely nothing about
: will set you up to fail at everything you CAN do something about
Thanks for the professional response (sarcasm).
In the future, please refrain from flippant responses and ad
hominem attacks via e-mail. This is an issue of importance to
many students and instructors so please leave the debate on the
board, and please do not flood my mailbox with mean-spirited e-mail.
.
Unfortunately, you did not illustrate why it is acceptable for a
student to engage in romantic relationships with an instructor,
so there really isn't too much more I can say. I believe you need
to research the issue of sexual abuse within schools, culinary
or otherwise, and please provide data to support your opinions.
Just to note, the likelihood that I am afraid of men is nearly
100 percent, but perhaps that is because I am one.
I can suggest several books if you are interested
in the subject. Many colleges today acknowledge the inherent
problems when individuals who have control over grades, in many
ways their future, encourage them into engage in relationships,
sexual or otherwise, beyond that of simply student-teacher, to
the degree that it is no longer seen as acceptable for a teacher
to engage in such behavior. In the course of grade school, it is
professionally unacceptable for a teacher to engage in a
relationship with a student, regardless of whether she or he has
reached age 18; such behavior will bring disciplinary action and
will have the individiual's license revoked. The same is the case
at many college campuses. Most openly discourage instructors from
doing so even if they do not formally devise mechanisms to punish
instructors who do so.
Are people so misinformed about the reality of the situation
that it leads them to believe it is okay? Sure, your response
confirms that. I am not impressed by claims that so and so got
married, etc. I know of a case where a high school teacher
married a student when she was 18, but started an affair with
her when she was 9 years of age. The end result of marriage does
not imbue the argument that engaging in the relationship while
the child was a student was unacceptable, in this case illegal.
The process is more important than the end result, and while I am
not arguing that the cases are identical, but I am trying to
demonstrate that the result of a relationship should not ignore
the inherent problems with the formulation of the bond that
ended with marriage.
Would we argue
that teacher is not a child molesterer because he ended up
marrying the child and spent 40 years in marriage with her? I
should hope not!
Instructors have power over students, whether we like to admit
it or not. I have talked with hundreds of students who have been
severely damaged by instructors, from Kindergarten to Post-doctorate
and if you think it is acceptable, you are entitled to your
opinion, regardless of whether it is right or wrong. My opinions
are based on several years or research and intensive contact
with teacher, students, and school officials, and regarding this
issue.
And on a more personal note, I am a married man, and fortunately
I do not have to worry about such issues to the extent that
women do, and I certainly would not consider this a "feminist"
issue. No, I'm not afraid of men. It is an issue of importance to
every man who has a wife
or daughter as well. That, I would think, would make us all
feminists.
For more information see:
http://home.earthlink.net/~jaye/index.html
The information is applicable to all institutions of learning,
although my organization limits itself to pre-college.