Posted by George on January 02, 1998 at 15:11:01:
Hi,
I found this in rec.food.marketplace thought it might give a laugh.
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If you like your food bacteria-free (and who doesn't?), then you're
ready for the supermarket of the 21st century-Crazy Eddie's Irradiated
Fresh Market!
Yes, Crazy Eddie, that nut who brought bulk foods into the present, is
bringing grocery shopping into the future! Now that the government has
approved the use of radiation as a food purification agent, we can
safely enjoy what we eat. Everything at Crazy Eddie's Irradiated Fresh
Market has been thoroughly subjected to a healthy dose of gamma
radiation to rid it of any harmful toxins, viruses, bacteria and
numerous other detrimental substances which currently inhabit foods at
all the other supermarkets. The "other" guys may irradiate their beef,
but we irradiate EVERYTHING!
You wanted Radioactive Radishes? You got 'em! Plutonium Pudding makes
a great holiday treat! Use Eddie's personally selected Atomic Apples
for a germ-free pie that would even make Grandma jealous! Yes, aisle
after aisle of pure irradiated goodness awaits you at Eddie's. Make
snacking an artform when you munch on Eddie's Nuclear Nuts.
And, you can shop in peace while the kids play in ReactorLand! An
actual 1950's missile silo combined with a nuclear-waste processing
facility, ReactorLand is the nation's cleanest indoor recreational
park! Absolutely no living microorganisms inhabit any of the child-safe
playground equipment or cobalt-enriched sandboxes!
So bring the whole family to Eddie's, where "the food may be glowin' but
at least it's done growin'!"
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Later
George